To understand powerlessness it is necessary to understand
the problem of choice in regard to the ego. The ego is the result of all the
‘events’ that occur in childhood in which a network of beliefs are formed that
become a blueprint for the way we view ourselves and others. These beliefs take
on a life of their own and we believe ourselves to be what we are not. The
beliefs that we believe ourselves to be are not true and the result, the ego is
also not true. What we ‘choose’ is not really a choice as it is determined by
false assumptions made by something that does not exist; the ego. Believing
ourselves to be unlovable we ‘choose’ actions that prove this belief. We are
forced by our beliefs to prove that our assumption that we are unlovable is
true. If we could really choose why would we choose suffering? It is more
accurate to say that we are programmed to expect to suffer. Another way of
saying this is that we ‘want to suffer. When we expect something enough it
becomes a need and therefore what we want. The universe is infinitely subtle,
complex and unknowable and we are not different from the universe. To believe
that we are able to choose when what we are and what we are surrounded by is so
infinitely subtle, complex and unknowable can only be called ignorance. The ego
cannot tolerate vulnerability because vulnerability is truth and the ego views
truth as a vampire would view a crucifix. The idea of accepting anything can
only be an idea of the ego. It is not possible to accept anything or to
understand anything and if there is any acceptance or understanding then it is
the ego that does so. The ego wants something to hang on to and this is because
the ego does not exist. The ego’s purpose is always to reinforce the illusion
that something that does not exist does exist. Believing that we accept or
understand anything is a trick to convince ourselves that we exist. What does
exist can never be known and this is why those who claim to be enlightened or
awake may be very convincing but also deluded. There can be no knowing what is
or what is happening and as a result it cannot be true that we are powerful or
powerless. Nothing can be said about what we are or what we are not.
Consciousness itself has no concerns with any of these questions.
If you take a glass and dip it into the ocean you will see beyond doubt that the blueness of the ocean is an illusion. This is not so different to the moment when consciousness realises itself.