Wednesday, 7 March 2012


I find it useful to look at aspects of consciousness such as thinking, vulnerability and belief individually but also at how these aspects work together. Belief is deeply linked to thinking but I have learned that it warrants attention in its own right. Thinking could also be seen as believing because thinking and language are composed of belief. What is the relationship of thinking and believing to vulnerability?  My definition of vulnerability is  ‘the physical sensations that occur through our senses’. Our senses give us data concerning the world and our place in it. Before thinking there was vulnerability and consciousness. For a long time this was enough but at some point in human development probably as a result of some drastic change to our environment language and the cooperation that goes with it became necessary. Thinking/language and belief came about as a need to cooperate. Its function was therefore practical and useful but thinking/language and belief are very complex systems and there are unforeseen consequences to using these systems. Vulnerability is what the body experiences when faced with the world/others directly; that is without the buffer of thinking/language and belief. The unforeseen consequence of thinking is the ability to buffer or separate from what we are naturally and physically feeling. When we are buffered from our physical sensations they are reduced in intensity. This reduction in the intensity of feeling is seen as a form of control. It is very appealing to be able to control unwanted feelings. Unfortunately this is not true, while it appears that the intensity of feeling is reduced it is also repressed and what is repressed has gone nowhere. To be vulnerable is a condition in which physical feelings come and go without repression. It is possible and necessary for us all to live without the repression of feelings. In my own experience this only became possible when the degree of suffering involved in repression reached a certain point. This point is a point of surrender where we stop fighting and trying to control what we are feeling. Once this Rubicon is crossed there is no going back as it is soon seen that living without repressing and controlling what we are feeling is infinitely preferable.


  1. Can you elaborate on what you mean by ‘the physical sensations that occur through our senses' . Do you mean all sensory data coming from the six senses or just sensations occurring in the body as taught in Vipassana i.e. 'Vedana' and does that also include mental feelings?

    Also what about repressing physical sensations caused by an illness, for example a fever and accompanying body ache. Is taking pain killers for example a form of repression?

    Everything else is making perfect sense now and I can actually feel the truth of what you're saying but I need a little more navigation as to what sensations really are and what the difference between sensations caused by physical factors and mental factors are.


  2. Yes all sensory data received by the body and its senses. It is helpful to appreciate that these senses or impressions are a unified whole. It is like being immersed in water except in this case it is all the information received by the body and its senses. The ego appears to be the part of us that separates us from this unified whole. I say appears because this is not really true, the truth is there is only pure intelligent consciousness in which things appear to arise as with the senses. The ego's job is to make you believe that the 'things' that arise in consciousness are more real than the consciousness they arise in. The physical sensations or impressions received by the body and its senses are important in that they allow us to live and function in the world. it seems that a by product of this functionality is that we forget the more important fact that what we are is the consciousness itself and not what arises in that consciousness. Fortunately it is not a case of one or the other but all of it, consciousness and all that arises in consciousness can come to be seen as one with no real division. There is no such thing as mental feelings, there are the actual physical sensations which become 'mental feelings' when the ego gets involved and adds certain beliefs that supposedly tell us what these sensations mean. Apart from the natural information regarding pain which is minimal there is really very little meaning. Nothing in terms of like and dislike and even the pain itself is only really physical sensation without meaning. It is hard to tell when and if pain killers should be taken but my assumption is that it is mostly the ego and the beliefs it is composed of that will determine this. What I am saying is that we will take painkillers so long as the ego is the dominant factor, there is no choice with the ego as all beliefs are already taken to be real. When the ego is less dominant it becomes possible to determine more accurately when and if pain killers should be taken. You could say that taking pain killers is a form of depression but even when we take pain killers we are still experiencing something. Good to hear that this is making perfect sense and that you can feel the truth of it.

  3. When I mentioned the six senses I meant the mind as the sixth sense which must mean that thought is another form of sensory data. How does that relate with being vulnerable since this aspect of the mind is composed of beliefs and therefore again getting the ego involved in the process?

  4. The sixth sense the mind I do not consider a physical sense although it can as a result of believing something that is not true cause the body to have uncomfortable physical sensations. This sixth sense the mind is also the ego. The true mind is consciousness. Vulnerability is not connected in any way to any mental computation it is purely physical.

  5. Ok. That explains it all! I seem to have done with the intellectual part of this quest now. I have really had it with all these questions and thinking of how to get rid of this suffering! Enough is enough! Maybe questions will keep arising but if I've understood you right(and pls correct me if I'm wrong) then it's the 'vulnerability' process that will end suffering and no amount of juggling and re-arranging beliefs and thought patterns that will do it in the end.
    So to sum it all up, can I just let you know my understanding of what you have said and then then go ahead with the process without letting thought interfere and sabotaging the core of it. Please help me with the fine tuning and having done that I will try to keep a radio silence for a while until I have some good news to give you regarding my release, if there is any:

    The process as I understand it is to let all the physical sensations which include the uncomfortable sensations resulting from all the negative states,( which is known at the back of mind without even thinking it that it comes from believing something that isn't true) be as they are without adding further meaning or intellectualisation.
    The body feels what is and there is no need to do anything except to be vulnerable to what is arising anyway. Also it's not necessary to do this in any formal way unless of course sitting down in meditation is what one is inclined to do. The escapism through drugs or sex or any other form will happen if the belief structure makes it so, although it would be a true release if one keeps at 'vulnerability' instead of getting a short term release.
    Trusting this process will become natural and effortless once it gains momentum compared to the momentum generated by the ego to escape this process since it is painful and eventually brings about its end.

    If so then give me your go ahead and hopefully this ego cannot raise its ugly head enough for its inevitable demise. If this is not entirely accurate just in case the ego is involved in this understanding I so gratefully received from you them please feel free to cut it down in its tracks.
    Lots of Love and Gratitude

  6. Sounds pretty good to me. Just one thing to add, if possible avoid seeing this as a process and trust that you are conscious right now and nothing can be done to change this. This is just a useful mindset as process involves time and time also is a construct of the ego and belief. If this part is not clear let me know. All the best.

    1. Wow! Just as I started to get a hold of what you mean by the 'process' and 'vulnerability' which involved time of course you have reminded me of a very basic truth which I knew since a while but had overlooked completely. That throws it all off! I can't understand both! If there is truly no time then who the hell is going through a 'process'? That really makes me confused again. But I suspect this is deliberate? I give up!

  7. Confusion is good it means the ego is losing its hold. This is the great paradox the ego wants to know what absolutely cannot be known. This is neti neti, not this not this - anything that can be known is not it. As I said in my book this is like a virus that once begun cannot be stopped. Everything that can be known begins to fall away and eventually a complete collapse of belief occurs and the clouds that obscure consciousness are gone forever. Don't give up and don't not give up just notice if you try to hold onto any new knowing. Sit back and enjoy the ride.